Writers block
My beautiful mind
[day 18/30]
Today’s blogpost is an excerpt from my Open Source Woman project.
13:53 I’m going go try doing absolutely nothing now
13:56 Maybe I can do a fiction piece about a girl that is like stuck in a utopian city
13:57 Maybe I just post this txt as my blogpost of the day.
13:57 Thinking about how this challenge makes me terminate thoughts that I would normally expand on first because I have to write them down, thinking about how I can avoid that
13:58 maybe I wanna write about the tendency for disruption to go through a phase of experimentation and then converge into an ideal design (cars, smartphones) and how that might happen to LLMs and uni
14:00 What if I write about the leaves in the tree, and how they see the tourists pass by
14:00 What if I do a celeste classic and write meta article about writers block
14:00 I have a headache.
14:02 How disgusting is it that git does not have a built-in for “commit and push?”
14:03 thinking about how this project might impact my carreer. This is on my github after all.
14:04 maybe git does have a function for commit and push. Have I checked? No. I wonder how many other possibly false things I believe. I conclude it’s a lot.
14:05 I’m concluding now that I really need to write this meta-article, but that has kind of ruined the idea, because
14:05 beauty is supposed to be in the eye of the beholder and that wow is that a what was that concept called again actually
14:05 yeah anyway it might be ruined because to be proper meta it has to like not be meta meta except maybe there are no rules and we’re all gonna die.
14:06 I wish someone loved me
14:07 I think about how thoughts exist in a higher dimensional space than actual language and the implications this has for large language models
14:07 because like really if you think about it we don’t have thoughts to train on, they only have language that is on the internet, and that’s not how we reason
14:08 I think I reason more abstractly than language. Not quite visual but somewhere in between
14:09 Man, I really need to write this article. Oh I should end it on that shouldn’t I. Kaufman would be proud.
14:09 I get the idea that this is negatively impacting my mental health. That’s probably not true.
14:10 I wish I had better vocabulary. I feel like I’m bad at writing prose. uh oh bucket error!
14:10 uh oh cached thought!
14:10 maybe these rationalist types are on to something, they seem culty at times though but that’s like vibes
14:10 probably read too much about that ziz blog lmao
14:11 I feel an inexplicable need to cry
14:11 We should have machine learning matching for people for dating it would make everything more easy. Everyone just does this for a week and then they
14:12 Combine the results with your body language and mannerisms and other metadata. Surely we can figure this out society.
14:12 that is actually quite dystopian. What does that word even mean.
14:13 whom’s dystopia?
14:13 I am attacked by the idea of a trans girl group house.
14:13 Phallic is a funny word.
14:13 When did I start thinking that these ideas have to be good again? Didn’t I admit to myself that I suck at writing?
14:14 I haven’t fully internalized it I guess
14:14 Think about that one trans girl that told me that the ego stomping thing can’t be true because if ur ego is getting stomped something else is doing the stomping
14:15 think about how that’s horseshit. Drinking with her was fun though, but I’m not very attracted to her
14:15 how shallow is that now. I don’t think past celeste would like that
14:15 I don’t owe shit to past celeste
14:16 guy next to me is watching a youtube video on how to learn to code in 4 minutes. It makes me feel a certain way
14:16 superior I guess.
14:16 who up being radically honest
14:16 Line 254? That should be enough for a blogpost!