Posting Less

"The blog ending because you finally found your place and your people would not be so bad :)"

[day 4/5]

holy shit its celeste from celeste-land

I mean. it’s obvious in a lot of ways right. I write to make sense of things. It’s what I’ve always done. The notebook has always had my back.

Ever since my flight touched down in the states, for the first time in a long, while writing has not come to me naturally.

I don’t really know why this is the case (and how intensely it even is the case, since I wrote pretty well last 2 days).

There’s an aspect here that Lucie put beautifully:

The blog ending because you finally found your place and your people would not be so bad :)

And I do fear that I’m goodharting on the whole thing by forcing myself to write anyway.

But blogging always kinda came out of love. And if not love it came out of the pits of Bespoke B*lgium Boredom. And now in SF, that isn’t here anymore, and the urge lessened.

But god it’s hard to give up. I think I have this overgeneralized fear of standing still that was imbued on me by 9 months of degeneracy which consisted of quite literally nothing but Adderall and league of legends.

I know that if I force myself to blog too hard, I will hate it.¹ So I will not force myself as much.

I’m definitely not here to announce the dissolution of celeste-land, but I do think I will stop forcing myself to write as intensely as I have. It’s hard to square with the fact that my most successful and favorite posts are shit I cranked out because I sat down and decided I was going to write about something today.

I predict that the impact on the blog will actually be rather subtle, I will inevitably get nerdsniped by random shit and have no choice but to let my soft estrogenized hands spaceglide the keyboard. Someone is wrong on the internet…

But expect less frequent posts. I will write because it needs to be on celeste-land. Not because of the urge.

This post didn’t reach the self-imposed 500 word limit, and that’s kind of the point.

1. Bleh, this also just hasn’t been true emperically, btu whatever